One Liners

Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

A perfect wife is one who helps the husband with the dishes.

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

Three rings: Engagement ring, Wedding ring, Suffering.

Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late.

A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes.

When a newly married man looks happy we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy - we wonder why.

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's.

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished.